Lumia leads to libatious lounge lawlessness, lampooning lamentable reality

Windows Phone

Last week a woman says she was attacked in a bar for wearing Google Glass. It took place in Molotov’s, a San Francisco bar in the Lower Haight district.  It’s an area where you’ll find a lot of young artists and post-college vagabonds idling about. Sarah Slocum was the victim and the incident a real-life manifestation of the comment section of a tech site.

The incident took place last Friday when a man ripped the Google Glass off her face and took off out the bar. She took after the man running out the street. Leaving behind her purse and phone in the bar, which were then stolen. Sarah was able to recover her Google Glass, but is yet to get her purse and phone back. Sarah later posted the video from Glass to her YouTube channel. You can check it out below, though note the video only was set to only record in 10 second increments.

Luckily, no one was hurt.

This story makes the lot of you look civil. And we say that with love! Which is why we think you’ll appreciate this satire piece over at SF Weekly where a woman was also attacked at a bar for using Windows Phone. Here’s what our fictional damsel in distress said about that imaginary incident:

“I got a text from one of my allies in the domiciled community (an activist term for people with homes) and wanted to call back. But when I brought out my Nokia Lumia, the crowd turned ugly."

The police report on that fight is also hilarious. In it we learn that the attackers, a man and woman, attacked the woman with the Windows Phone after confronting her about the lack of a strong app ecosystem in the Windows Phone Store and overall market penetration.

Read the full piece over at SF Weekly and start your weekend with a good laugh.

Via: Reddit


Reader comments

Lumia leads to libatious lounge lawlessness, lampooning lamentable reality


Funny how you can tell someone's priority list looking at their WP screen.  This person doesn't consider the the primary purpose of the device "phone" to be all that important if it's stuck at the bottom of the screen if it's on there at all.

That person could have small hands and it would be easier to do a swipe up and get to the bottom where all the tiles are within reach of the thumb.

Possibly, but doubtful since they consider the calendar important enough to use it to a high degree and it's at the top.

There appears to be tiles hidden at the top of the picture cropped out. So the phone icon could very well be up top.

Exactly..the title deserves a lot more applause than that satirical story that's apparently so funny..the title cracked me up but the story couldn't.. :D good work Derek..!!!

Lumia ... what? Hehe as a non english speaking person I go like "whut?" on headlines like that. Probably very funny. :)

Don't be surprised if you get your ass kicked for grabbing someone's camera.  You should have stayed home if you feel that strongly about it.

Ever heard of a CCW permit?  Go ahead, grab the camera, see if I'm delusional and good luck finding 12 jurors in Alabama who think I'd be wrong to shoot you.

Pull a gun for having your phone or glasses or whatever snatched?  Isn't the purpose to protect yourself from harm?  'mericans!  Love it.

edit:  (just noticed  you're from Alabama.  My apologies. Now I understand.)

And how exactly would you stop them? What difference is there in GG and a camera or a phone? What, in public, can you legally do about it? NOTHING. Sorry, Kanye, but your freedom to be an asshole ends when you step out into the public domain. That's where you either grow up or run back home to mommy.

Hmmm. I hear San Francisco and Google Glass and these are 2 things that many people have problems with, the two conjuring up images of arrogance and elitism. Generalisations I know but fact nontheless. I know that when the story was first published there was quite a bit of schadenfreude about.

Same here, anyone recording me without concent would annoy me, but I wouldn't steal their google glass from them, I'd just tell them to stop recording.

In the comments. Meaning the lady's version of the events was debunked, i.e. police report, she was rude to begin with, etc.

http://www.missionmission.org/2014/02/25/tech-writer-may-or-may-not-have... It does seem like she was being a bit obnoxious with them. Wearing something like that while going out drinking doesn't warrant stealing her stuff, but I know I would prefer them added to the no shoes, no shirt, no service sign. Cool tech, but could have been phased in better (start with professions like law enforcement). A good example is what Oculus Rift is doing with O2 and the English rugby team.

Its a joke...like wmoweruser that reported this to be fact. Saw one like this in the forum about 2 weeks ago.

In a place named Molotov's, you'd almost expect an [insert news anchor pun pause] explosive situation to be a regular occurrence.

Haha, that satire article actually has a lot of truth in it. I get constantly attacked for my personal choice of ecosystem, always by people who have never actually used it and therefore don't have a clue what they're talking about (referred to in that post as people being afraid of what they don't know, which I feel is quite accurate). However anyone who has actually tried it loves it, and even if they don't choose it they still respect my preference.

Very true! Some people I know have inferiority complex. Always making comments about their iPhone has this and that and WP doesn't. If only we didn't share the same set of friends I would have punch him in the face with my phone hehe

What I find funny is the tone some people will use when they say, "...oh is that a wiiiiindows phone?" like I'm holding some rare exotic animal from the Amazon jungle.

My problem with Google Glass isn't really that I don't want to be videoed/photographed by someone (although I usually don't), but that it's GOOGLE.
They have the capability (and incentive) to index and face-tag whole swaths of public life, filling in the gaps from license plate readers and CCTV cameras and phone location services and God only knows what else until it's impossible to be "just a face in the crowd" anymore. How far will we allow this to go? Will we just willingly resign ourselves to being little more than a trajectory of points in a monstrous data set?

Someone got assaulted and robbed and you find it funny that someone made a parody about it? What's wrong with those people?

I understand people being offended when they get filmed without their permission and I certainly don't like Google Glass (just another way for Google to ignore your privacy and collect information). But it's no excuse to assault them try to steal their stuff.

Not defending that guy, but I would be pissed too if some jerk with a deficit of attention starts recording everything and everyone around him in a bar.

Plus, still no excuse to make fun of it.