We're really trying not to chuckle over this one, but swine flu is serious stuff. So if you've just got to know who's sick around you, Pandemy Flu Alert's got you covered. It'll tap into your phone's location services – GPS, tower location, etc. – check with the "Internet database" (whatever that is) and plot the nearest H1N1 report on a Google map. Handy for all you hypochondriacs out there. Says it works on all Windows phones. (If you actually try this, let us know in the comments.)
As for the other diseases you may have picked up over the weekend? You're on your own there.