Dear Cortana, do you love me?

Dear Cortana,

You’ve been sassy since we first met in 2001. I was only 13 then and you were busy controlling the defenses on the Pillar of Autumn as we emerged from slipspace near Installation 04. The Covenant was giving us a beat down after we barely escaped the glassing on the planet Reach. We’ve traveled the galaxy, saved it a few times and now you’re living in my pocket. Together we’ve spent the last few days getting reacquainted thanks to Windows Phone 8.1. You were sassy in 2001 and you’re still sassy today. I’ve put together a list of some of the questions I like to ask to get those sassy answers from you I love.

Here are almost 200 of the absolute BEST Black Friday deals available

Halo questions:

Do you love Master Chief?

  • Do you love Master Chief?
  • Are you dead?
  • Are you in Halo 5?
  • What is Halo?
  • Who is Doctor Halsey?

Getting fresh with Cortana:

Talk dirty to me

  • What are you wearing?
  • Do you love me?
  • I love you.
  • Will you marry me?
  • Marry me.
  • Talk dirty to me.
  • Am I beautiful?
  • Cortana, I’m lonely.

Cortana 1-on-1:

Are you human?

  • How old are you?
  • What do you look like?
  • Where do you live?
  • When were you born?
  • What does Cortana mean?
  • Are you human?
  • Who is your creator?        
  • When were you born?
  • Do you have a sister?
  • Where are you from?
  • What’s your story?

She’s got jokes:

Cortana Jokes

  • What does the fox say?
  • Beam me up, Scotty.
  • Open the pod bay doors.
  • Knock knock.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Say something funny.
  • Sing me a song.
  • Where do babies come from?
  • What is the meaning of life?
  • Guess what?
  • Can I borrow some money?
  • Tell me a story.
  • Sing me a song.

Cortana and friends:

Bill Gates

  • Do you like Steve Ballmer?
  • Do you like Satya Nadella?
  • Do you like Bill Gates?
  • Do you like Jimmy Fallon?
  • Who’s your daddy?
  • Who is your boss?         
  • Do you like Android?
  • Do you like Google?
  • Do you like Apple?       
  • Do you like Microsoft?
  • Do you know Clippy?
  • Do you like Clippy?
  • Are you friends with Siri?

Cortana’s preferences:

Trick Question

  • What’s the best tablet?
  • What’s the best phone?
  • What’s the best computer?
  • Do you like Xbox?
  • What is the best search engine?
  • Do you like Google Now?       
  • Are you better than Google Now?
  • Are you better than Siri?

Giving her compliments and tough-love:

Last One

  • You are the best assistant ever.
  • You are awesome.
  • You’re cool.
  • Thank you.
  • I’m happy.
  • I hate you.
  • Fuck you.
  • You’re creepy.
  • You’re so annoying.
  • I’m drunk.
  • I’m bored.

This is list of fun things to say to Cortana. Feel free to add your favorites below! Every now and then after we’ve gathered a bunch of new commands we’ll share them like we just did! Be sure to tweet me some of your favorite things to ask Cortana @samsabri.

Also check out this thread in the Windows Phone Central forums for more!