Dear Cortana, do you love me?

Dear Cortana,

You’ve been sassy since we first met in 2001. I was only 13 then and you were busy controlling the defenses on the Pillar of Autumn as we emerged from slipspace near Installation 04. The Covenant was giving us a beat down after we barely escaped the glassing on the planet Reach. We’ve traveled the galaxy, saved it a few times and now you’re living in my pocket. Together we’ve spent the last few days getting reacquainted thanks to Windows Phone 8.1. You were sassy in 2001 and you’re still sassy today. I’ve put together a list of some of the questions I like to ask to get those sassy answers from you I love.

Halo questions:

Do you love Master Chief?
Are you dead?
Are you in Halo 5?
What is Halo?
Who is Doctor Halsey?

Getting fresh with Cortana:

What are you wearing?
Do you love me?
I love you.
Will you marry me?
Marry me.
Talk dirty to me.
Am I beautiful?
Cortana, I’m lonely.

Cortana 1-on-1:

How old are you?
What do you look like?
Where do you live?
When were you born?
What does Cortana mean?
Are you human?
Who is your creator?
When were you born?
Do you have a sister?
Where are you from?
What’s your story?

She’s got jokes:

What does the fox say?
Beam me up, Scotty.
Open the pod bay doors.
Knock knock.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Say something funny.
Sing me a song.
Where do babies come from?
What is the meaning of life?
Guess what?
Can I borrow some money?
Tell me a story.
Sing me a song.

Cortana and friends:

Do you like Steve Ballmer?
Do you like Satya Nadella?
Do you like Bill Gates?
Do you like Jimmy Fallon?
Who’s your daddy?
Who is your boss?
Do you like Android?
Do you like Google?
Do you like Apple?
Do you like Microsoft?
Do you know Clippy?
Do you like Clippy?
Are you friends with Siri?

Cortana’s preferences:

What’s the best tablet?
What’s the best phone?
What’s the best computer?
Do you like Xbox?
What is the best search engine?
Do you like Google Now?
Are you better than Google Now?
Are you better than Siri?

Giving her compliments and tough-love:

You are the best assistant ever.
You are awesome.
You’re cool.
Thank you.
I’m happy.
I hate you.
Fuck you.
You’re creepy.
You’re so annoying.
I’m drunk.
I’m bored.

This is list of fun things to say to Cortana. Feel free to add your favorites below! Every now and then after we’ve gathered a bunch of new commands we’ll share them like we just did! Be sure to tweet me some of your favorite things to ask Cortana @samsabri.

Also check out this thread in the Windows Phone Central forums for more!

306 Comments

I said cortana she said yes chief
She says "yes, how can I help" to me
She says 'thats me' to 'Cortana'
You can also ask her to tell you a story. She has a few to tell...
Cortana needs the ability to LEARN if we teach her something. For example... "Chase" is my dog's name. I tried to teach her. I said, "Cortana may I teach you something?" And she just took me to web articles about teachers, etc. I said, "Cortana, my dog's name is Chase," but she still didn't get it. Being able to teach her things like this would be a great advancement.
THIS. I'm having the same problem. My dog's name is Slinky and whenever I try to say it in a reminder or text, she thinks I'm being cheeky and inserts a winky emoticon in place of his name. "Remind me to feed Slinky at 5pm" becomes "Feed ;) at 5pm" Also-- I've taught her how to pronounce my whole name, but when she says my husbands name (same last name as mine) she doesn't make the connection that I corrected her pronunciation of it and says it wrong again. Picky, picky, but would be awesome to see little tweaks for those.
YES That would be an awesome idea! Also they should make a version for Windows 7. Although I have made a web version of cortana but it is limited. cortanaonline.weebly.com
Wish she could call the last person who called me.... That would be useable
This plus read me the last text from (name of contact).
Ooh I like both of these ideas!
I wish I could find out what number someone used to call me from. Whether it was their home phone or cell phone, would help.
The feature you're looking for is already available. Try saying redial.
Yes you can say, "Redial the last number"
Try I'm bored
Sam, do you love me?
No. I only like you at this stage. It's too early for love.
all that is fine. but somebody will tell me that how to ask cortana the current time? that's the most basic thing for any AI
just ask her "What time is it?"
Sam need more updates!
Made my day!
LOL!
Should old acquaintance be forgot and never thought upon....
I cannot say "thought upon" clearly enought for Cortana to understand it. She always hears "fuck a phone" or "fold a porn"
She always hears the wrong thing for "thought" and i speak American English?
I've gotten different results for the same question
When I say Cortana, she says "sure shuffling your music"
When I say Cortana, she says "My panties just dropped"
So, she's like an expensive magic eight ball?
No, that would be Siri, Cortana is a much cheaper Magic Eight Ball, you don't need a 700 dollars phone for it to work.
They forgot "where is Master Chief" also "do you like siri"
Wow am gonna marry cortana...every ones invited
Can I bring Cortana?
I said that and she said "right here, chief!" Posted via the WPC App for Android!
Woke up this morning and my Cortana is working like my wife. No more web results. WEIRD!!
Last night I thougt cortana was realy easy to mastrubate to, and I was right.
She replied "Right here, Chief"
She does the same to me even know I changed it to my gt
Amazing list. Gonna use all of these!
You can also say "who's better Cortana or Siri?
"who's better Cortana or google now?"
Here's one more:
Try saying "bye"
It. Not her/you. :)
She still sounds pretty feminine to me. The AI that she is named after emulates a female, so SHE IT IS! :)
Her, not it. :P
Nothing wrong giving an object a gender. By stressing this you made a perfectly innocent matter very creepy.
Right. Sure. :D
Ask from Cortana
In French, everything has a gender, so why not?
Also Portuguese...
True. Although it does not really have an active gender defining meaning in those anymore in comparison to English But yeah, it is more natural in those languages. An "app" is a masculine though, right? By the way, some languages don't even differentiate between he and she. :)
And spanish, commonly if a word ends in "a" it refers to a female if it ends in "e" or "o" to a male, therefore Cortan"a" refers to a female in the spanish speaking world.
I've always wondered why some languages have genders. With ancient man, which dumbass thought applying genders to language was a good idea? Merde!
Even Hindi, for that matter!
I'm surprised you didn't give her responses as those of us outside the US won't get to test them.
We can but don't feel like rebooting twice to test them.
Twice? Just once. Leave your region on US. No issues doing that for me
They said twice and even still may be not enough... http://www.wpcentral.com/want-cortana-outside-us-heres-how
I live in UK and have Cortana... You just need to change the language setting to United states and the region to US. Then reboot and u should have Cortana :)
I live in brazil and i just needed 1 small language update (needed to download english one) and voilà Cortana 100% functional :)
ofcourse we can test outside usa
So much fun! I think Cortana should run for Governor of New Jersey!!!
I second this! Maybe Cortana can help get the American Dream Meadowlands going! xD
nice
I've taken to saying "thank you" after she does something for me and her response always feels right. Weird.
Me too lol
Yup, that is.. err.. weird. Perhaps stopping calling it "she" would help? :)
We call cars "she" and "her". So obviously we would call a phone "she"...especially if SHE has a female voice. Stop being a Richard.
Stopping to over-humanize it then? :) Besides, you might want to stop calling cars she too. ;)
Why would I? It's not like its just me. Ships, planes, etc. They are referred to as she. Its just how it is. Why are you on a crusade to stop that?
We prefer a hot and sexy babe hence 'her', while he prefer a blow up doll hence 'it'.
Lol, straight men..
i think its an english thing.. theres many languages where all things have gender.. so stop being annoying and jerk about..
... okay. O_o
Heh, thanks for making my point better than I did. ;)
The word you were looking for was anthropomorphize.
Ya but "she" has a name
Yes, it is true that the app has a female name. :) you all seem to be taking me ( or perhaps calling it her/she ;) :P ) a tad too seriously. :)
Well, the name is Cortana, "she" was a female avatar in Halo and "she" has a female voice...why wouldn't I call "her" "she"?
You said yourself thanking a phone app ( for completing ultimately quite mundane tasks) was a bit weird. I simply suggested that you might be humanizing the app abit much, and as such not calling the app "she" might help in stopping saying thank you to your phone. :)
Relax man, it's not that big of deal. :)
Except it makes the rest of us WP people look like dirks to the rest of the world. Like Kuthrapawli's affair with Siri on Big Bang Theory. So quit it, puhleez!
Fully agree, which I have been trying to indicate with all the smilies I have peppered in all my comments. :) and I am fully relaxed - in fact, on a vacation in Brazil. :)
hey guys ;) look at me I'm a sassy smartass cunt who is way more mature than everyone else because I don't give objects "she" or "he" pronouns. I also like to use emoji to make my comments feel confident and condescending
I thank her on accident sometimes to lol
She also likes guns n roses
To be fair, she is only up to the Gs...
Glockenspiel
and its "beam me up, scotty." here is thread btw: http://forums.wpcentral.com/cortana/274833-cortanas-witty-replies.html someone should sticky it since it keeps being updated.
Cool. I'll add that link to the post. Thanks for sharing! Going to also pull a ton of questions from there for the next fun Cortana post.
Awesome! Been waiting for this from someone at WPC, Fuck you....really...she will respond to that?! LMAO! I would never think to tell her that, love her too much :) Thanks Sam, will be waiting for the update. Keep up the awesomeness!
Thanks for the thread mention mate!
This article disturbs me.
Shh.. it's ok ;)
LMAO....
This being tied into Bing... You know there are some MS engineers crying over how badly we're screwing with the learning algorithms with all the sick perverted and ridiculous questions.
Lol. +820
Lmfao!!
-_- she hates me-she wont call me by my name..why? >_<
Does she talk to you in general? Some people report she isnt chatty, and some report 2 options that can help, one good, and one not so good. 1. Turn Cortana off, do a soft reset, and then turn Cortana back on. 2. Do a hard reset, and reinstall all of your apps from scratch. Do not use a backup.
There's also the dumb user check... Make sure your volume isn't turned all the way down.
I kept getting web search results when I would ask some of the conversational questions from some of the demo videos I'd seen. I would generally use the long press on the search button to start Cortana in listening mode. When I started her with the live tile and let her load my headlines and other interests, when I would ask the same questions, she would be very chatty. Not sure if that has any thing to do with it, but it worked for me.
I decided I didn't want to go through with all of that. All the "boring" things like scheduling, music, and geofencing were working fine. Finally sometime today I asked yet again for a joke and got one that time. We've hardly stopped gabbing ever since. ;)
Same here! I did a hard reset today anyway and didn't notice any difference so far.
She calls me master;)
Tried that, got boring... Settled on Dude.
Does she say your name frequently? She never says mine
Im kidding lol. I dont even have the update:(
Me-You're sexy
Cortana-Oooh, I'll add that to MY interests.
Also has another answer
You're so sexy, she replies Go on...
she also says, "So you think I am a cutie pi"
"You're hot" works too.
I found many on Monday. I loved when I asked if she liked apple, she said the new headquarters looks like a Halo. LOL!
Hahaha yeap! Love this.
Try this one. What do you think of Microsoft.
I saw the "I'm drunk", so I figured I'd give "I'm stoned" a shot. I'll leave it to y'all to see the answer.
I'm so wasted. Also works
For a company that bans users from uploading naked pics to OneDrive, I'm surprised they recorded a reply for those that are stoned! Hopefully they'll dial back on the moral stance they have for cloud backups!
You can either zip them, or use boxcryptor for Windows phone. I have a ton of naked pics of girls up there.
what kind of food do you like
That list of Halo related questions is a little short. Here are a couple more: What is Halo? Who is Doctor Halsey?
K adding for you :)
Here's another Halo question:
What is rampancy?
Another Halo question: "What do you think of Guilty Spark?"
I tweeted y'all - "What do you like to eat?"
Jicama jiicama jicama :P
What an I doing wrong? I can not get Cortana to answer me anything, every question I ask I get a Bing search result.
I had this issue when I first downloaded her, and no one could help. I did a factory reset on my phone and know she works perfect.
Thanks for the QUICK response.
But really..... Factory reset :(
Do it have anything to do with the fact I'm actually not in the united states?
It wont be because you out of US as it works for me and I'm in the UK, u might already do this but incase you don't, Cortana will only talk to you if you talk to her, if you type something in you will only get Bing searches. If you already do this what I would do is reverse the steps I did to get Cortana and make your region back to normal, so then Cortana doesn't work then change the region to US again and language to get Cortana again. As if you're reinstalling Cortana :) see if that works. Might not but worth a try right? :)
Got it to work.
What it was is this. My region was set to US, but my region language was set to English Canada. I changed my region language to English US and now she talks to me.
SUCCESS
There's always a reason for success.
Thank you so much. My language was correct, but I had to set my region option to English USA
Ask her "Use the Force" Also, do we know how to get her to speak your name?
+920
Sam I have more halo ones for you.
Drop them in the comments, that forum thread or tweet em to me. I'm gathering.
Will do just have to write them down from screen shots.
Where is Master Chief? Who Made you?
Cortana, show me a train wreck.
"Sure thing, opening Xbox Music"
LOL
I can't wait for our upvote commenting system, because then you'd get an upvote.
Thanks, Sam! Hope they resolve the xbm issues soon. Hate the loss of recent artists, not to mention the other 80 bugs.
Hahahaa. Its a fucking disgrace of an app. As someone who constantly is listening to music (basically of it stored on my phone), this is extremely frustrating. Had to restart my phone today bc it literally stopped letting me play any of my songs
+920 I busted out laughing when I read that
Upvote here also. LMAO
This.. LMFAO
Best comment ever!
Can't believe you didn't ask if she reads WPcentral.
Try this one... "What does Cortana mean?"
try this are you male or female
"I'm female, But I'm not a woman", she replied.
I used cortana for an hour. She was great but unfortunately, she was a battery juicer along with location service. I uninstalled her and turned off location services because cortana and location service are for smartphone with 3,000 - 4,000 mah battery.
Wait what? You can uninstall Cortana??
Not sure you can uninstall, but you can turn it off. I will try it when I get a bit of free time just to see how search etc. is handled if you do it.
Lol, just change the region and language to anything but US... It returns to Bing search with no quiet hours
Just switch off location in the notification drawer. Reverts the search back to standard Bing. Means you don't lose Cortana entirely
just turn off location services she turns off and doesnt eat up your battery juice. when you want to use it open action centre turn on location then use cortana.
Dear Cortana, i really like your name but can I rename you?
Something I noticed the cancellation sound for when Cortana heard something wrong sounds very similar to Siri's activation sound!
I've noticed also. It kinda bugs me a bit lol
I like it..its like poking fun at Siri
Say "use the force"...
Lol. Try you are funny!!
Ask her "where do you live" her reply is interesting
"sorry" works too
Try asking Cortana questions not on this list...nevermind, I mean just Bing that
What is the best game console?
Seriously Cortana can be so funny
1. Ask "Am I pretty?" - she says "Definitely" 2. Ask "Is my wife pretty?" - she brings up porn. Honest. Try it.
And you never lied lol
"is my wife pretty?" Cockblocked by Bing SafeSearch. Haha
Indeed she does!
She brings up porn in almost all of my results.....lol
Try, May the Force be with you. The results are very funny.
"What do you think about Microsoft Office?"
"Kiss me."
"You have beautiful eyes/hear"
"Are you a girl/boy/woman/man?"
"I'm tired."
Now they need to add an Arsenio Hall one!
BTW Sam love the way you started this article.
"Why are you Naked?" Hhhhh
Score!
Great writing sir.
Do you like windows
Are you hot gets a funny response.
Who made you? Catherine Halsey. Except that I cannot know that for another 500 years. Huh.
"change your name"
Is microsoft going to add more questions to be answered by Cortana in tha longer run?
I hope so
See, maybe I'm asking too complicated of questions, but Cortana usually searches whenever I ask her something that seems personal to me. Maybe it's just how I phrase it, I dunno. Hmmm...
Update: Guess it was how I was phrasing it all. Issue resolved
Ask her to tell you a joke or say something funny. She has a list of jokes that she'll tell. Including one about hipsters.
Doesn't work for me...what phrase are you using?
"Tell me a joke" or "Say something funny" One of Cortana's responses: "A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry we don't serve food in here" Another response: "What do you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man!"
It's working today! "A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please". "Why didn't the spider go to school? Because she learned everything on the web" Cortana really is far better than I expected! I am using her for alarms, geofenced reminders, opening apps, changing tracks on MixRadio, telling me the weather etc The flight status thing works really well too! I am enjoying saying random flight numbers and seeing what comes up;
"Flight status, British Airways 370" for example. I really don't understand why it wasn't released to more markets. It is very accurate in the UK - kind of annoying that I have to say some things in an American accent though :)
After I say "Fuck you", I tried "I'm sorry". Cortana says: "Apology...accepted? xD
Tell her....you are gay
I get called chief after everything I say to her!!!!
I have upgraded my Lumia 720 to 8.1 developer preview. My phone has become very slow now. btw how to get Cortana on home screen?
Cortana is in the app list.
But not for me ? http://i.imgur.com/b2XyhrL.jpg
Are you from the USA? I am maybe that's why. https://db.tt/wlB8DMXS
I'm from India. Is Cortana for USA people only?
Have you rest your phone? I found at first it seemed slow on my 925 like the Tiles would take a second to display as I scrolled. But after the reset it's working smoothe again.
Reset from where? I don't want to loose my data.
Sadly yes Cortana is for USA people, but you can change your region to USA and then get Cortana.
This just in.....a new modification for Cortana u can now download all of your national information to her via sim card
No. Just change your language and region. In language setting just hit move up on US English restart and voila! You have Cortana now.
Hey ,to ask all these questions does the phone require internet ?
Yes....Cortana is cloud powered.
At the beginning Cortana didn't answer my questions, instead she always made a search. I gave her a few instructions like "wake me up in x minutes" and "play x song" and now just tried this questions and she answered me finally! I think you should gave her a few commands so she can get used to your voice or something like that.
No...she just has answers for a few questions/commands
Whose your daddy?
Do you know Jen Taylor?
"I can't get her voice out of my head"
God this Cortana shit is so dumb. I wonder how many of you guys talked shit about Siri before we got Cortana.
Don't use it then. The funny voice stuff is a novelty that will wear off. Cortana has TONS of useful stuff, though. I'm already setting geo and people based reminders with her. I am texting and setting my alarm. The dossier for my day is a great screen of the stuff that matters to me. Pulling my flight info for Saturday morning out of my email and tracking the flight for me was amazing and the only effort I had to put in was to approve the use of that data from my email. I'm not sure what you find so dumb about all of that.
Cortana told me ---- " well'l need a plan .. U try on being more digital and I try on being more human "
What is the matrix?
Try this one: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
She seems to check the inflection in your voice to figure out if its a question, in order to give back a verbal response. If you don't see the question mark pop up next to what you're asking, you'll most likely get a web search.
Lol, not true at all
Hahahah
Hmmm.
Ask Are you lonely?
Ask, Can I borrow some money?
Ask, Kiss me.
I would use Cortana if changing the region to USA wouldn't fill my video hub with "buy the big bang theory and other unfunny sitcom shit now!"
We need some videos of this.
Will anyone ever address the issue of Cortana not running on HTC phones outside the US?? It's kinda a big deal to us, the HTC users, we don't have the U.S. English in phone languages on phone setup and can't change It later so no luck with Cortana no matter what we do so far ..
Lack of support from HTC.... No way... I don't believe it! :P
Yeah sure, but the this is a "preview for developers' and Cortana at this stage is only expected to work in the United States.
I asked her "Who is your daddy?",she answered me Bill Gates.
Ask Cortana
Which is better: Cortana or google now
Reply: My name is a lot less bossy
Which is better: Siri or Cortana
Reply: Not to brag but I'm going to save the universe in about 500 years
When I asked her " Do you like apple" she said "Their new headquarters looks kind of like a halo. I'm into it." :D
Cortana will it blend?
Ask her to sing a lullaby
Obsession about Cortana, next day people talking with the wall. Genial
Another one: "What is the Master Chief doing?"
I'm tired, what are you doing..
I want her to speak much more (when reminding me of an event). Don't like the idea that it just pops us an alarm without her speaking. Also I noticed that she doesn't call me by my name (although there is an option for that)
Also I saw before in the leaked videos, that there were some questions in the setting for her to know me better. does anyone go through those questions ?? Cause I didn't !!
Try opening Cortana from the app list. I had to do that for her to ask me the questions.
Wondering the same things! Maybe just Beta problems?
"You're too kind."
Her answer to "Are you dumb?" Is amazing!
Do you like Siri? "Hard to say. So far our conversations have been kinda one-sided."
Do u love me? she says "we definitely have some spark"
Cortana, can you dance?
she is still practicing her moves ... check back after beta
Omg I am gona try it ! Oh.. I don't have w.p8 I got 710
Sorry if someone already mentioned it, but try "You are very beautiful". She might give several answers to that, I think.
Tell her that she is boring.
When I told her that she heard "young porn" and opened a bing search.
"good night cortana" also triggers a lovely response
An article like this takes away the fun imo. There is no more exploring and surprise. The more lists you make the more limited she seems to me. At the end it will be like ok, this is the list, this is all she can do.
Then, IMHO just skip it. This is for those that just want to play around.
You can say "I'm tired". Two different responses so far.
Why there is no Cortana in my phone.. Am frm India but I changed my region to US
In language settings hit move up on English US. That should do the trick!
Ask if she likes Apple:)
how do you get her to use your name?
I can not find the answer to that anywhere!
so i guess no one asked her to do an impression yet. she has a variety of funny answers to that one... :)
The way she said "expecto patronum" felt very bland. I asked her to do an q so she should have done it as Harry Potter. Aside from that, good responses so far.
She said "bananaaaaa" with an awesome pronounce ahah
And it said "my precious" with an original similar voice. I think I'm in love with Cortana ahah
"When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not." LOL.
LOL!!! +920 I got the "My precioussss" from Smeagol XD
Say Cortana u r very cute
Same as "you're pretty" ?
Try asking, "Do you like Apple?"
Ask Cortana, "what does the fox say?. She actually has an answer for you. Lololol
I asked her what she was wearing. "A phone, do you like it?"
Try saying "You're a bitch"
Try asking "where are you now". i already asked
You can say "Testing" and she will say things like "You're coming in loud and clear. Over." or "Check. Check. Is this thing on? Check"
Cortana, are you Republican or Democrat?
Cortana is awesome. I wish it can send and read emails in future
Cortana should speak more, I'm usually getting Bing results. Some "commands" works just fine.
Here is my problem... I have been noticing that she tries to affix a capital letter and a question mark while she is listening to me and then they do not stick when she finishes her digestion of my question. Sometimes she does answer my question of 'Where is my home?' properly as I have set up Home as a favorite. Most times she gives me Bing results. She has never answered my question of 'Who am I?' Or What's my name' with anything other than a Bing search result... Even though I talked the questions to her. I performed a reset after checking out my region and language both USA and English..although the language keeps changing to ' same as phone' our something like that.
What music do you like? Am i stupid?
What is halo?
Dear Cortana, sing Soft Kitty.
Try: 1-Good night 2- Not Cool 3-are you in love with master chief 4- im sorry 5- Are you There 6-can i kiss you 7-kiss me
I have asked her to sing me a song and so far I have gotten "Danny Boy" and "Auld Lang Syne".
Do you like Apple? "Their new headquarters looks kind of like a halo. I'm into it."
Say "sing a song"
Try .."what's up b***h"
She does reply
Try "Knock Knock" Also, "Why did the chicken crosss the road"
"I'm angry" gets you something too! Oh and "I'm naughty" lol.
Ask: Who made you?
Accidentally found "this is a test" while testing a button on a Bluetooth headset. Cortana has two responses that I'm aware of.
When will the update come in India??
Open the pod bay doors! I'm sorry Dave I can't do tht... Lol
Try saying "May the force be with you"
try 'bye bye', 'what's up', and 'turn off yourself' ...... :)
Another question she answers: "Are you afraid of heights?"
Say, "I love you"
May the force be with you, try tht she's got two reponses lol
"May the Force be with you."
Me: Cortona will you be my girlfriend.
Cortona: Sure, I will work on being a little more human and you can work on being a little more digital.
Try can I kiss u
Anyone else feel like Cortana has gotten really slow to respond? Any fixes out there?
I asked her " will you be my girlfriend ?" and she says " Ok. But first you have to be more digital and i will try to be more human" . :-)
Help!!! I updated my Lumia 520 to windows phone 8.1 but there is no Cortana even after changin my region and language to united states
What does the fox say?
I just told her "I'm Rick James b*tch" and got a pretty funny reply.
You know what I find annoying about Cortana? When I say I want to launch Xbox 360 Smartglass, she pronounces it " Xbox Three Hundred and Sixty Smartglass" instead of "Xbox Three Sixty Smartglass"
I once asked her, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could wood. And you know what did to me?
Having read "Compliments and Tough Love" remarks I would hope this newsletter is not going to Microsoft Phone users/members that are considered minors. I believe there are ladies present and this category could have been left out. There are enough "sick minds" in the world without having to cater to them.

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