Skip to main content

And you thought the real Cortana had some attitude.

Be sure to check out our real hands-on with Cortana and Windows Phone 8.1 for all of the attitude that's actually built into Microsoft's latest and greatest.

Via: @gcaughey

Derek Kessler is Special Projects Manager for Mobile Nations. He's been writing about tech since 2009, has far more phones than is considered humane, still carries a torch for Palm, and got a Tesla because it was the biggest gadget he could find. You can follow him on Twitter at @derekakessler.

218 Comments
  • Hahaha...
  • Gosh cortana is ready to blow up Siri
    .!!! In a gunfight lol.!!
  • The ultimate Siri-al Killer.
  • LMAO that's a good one
  • Well done!
  • LOL I see what you did there. +8.1
  •   You get one for that.
  • 10 points :)
  • would have been great to have a halo gun on there
  • Cortana is ultimate ;)
  • +1 Posted via the WPC App for Android!
  • HAHAHA I can't believe it, they two both are like so funny.
  • Ha, gosh this was great. I liked the voice that was used for Cortana, too. 
  • Yeah it was but imagine if they would've gotten someone like Niecy Nash or Jackée Harry.  LOL!
  • Morgan Freeman's voice would be nice.
  • lol
  • Morgan Freeman's voice is nice with anything
  • LMAO
  • +1520
  • Why do people insist on doing this...
  • Wpcentral there is no "up vote" or "like" button.  So, people show an up vote with their Nokia phone model
  • Exactly +1520
  • What do mean? +1020
  • Too funny
  • Microsoft version of Siri. Sigh. 
  • It will take time before Cortana gets her own recognition.
  • Well, isn't it? Sure, it does more, but it is definitely a copycat feature.
  • Not really. WP has always been able to do what Siri does without voice. They are adding voice to it and some more features.
  • OMG I don't believe this comment. Copycat feature? Spoken like someone who not only did not see the keynote but also doesn't get this at all. But then, I forgot Apple invented colored phones with the 5c.
  • Copycat ..plz i hate that word specially when its spoken by ibitches
  • Fanboy logic: Cortana, not a copycat feature. Siri is shit. Apple patents a keyboard design for the iPad? Total Surface ripoff. Apple releases colored smartphones? Total Nokia rippoff. Look, I love Windows Phone, but people need to realize that all three of the big players, Apple, Microsoft and Google, all borrow features from each other. Grow up.
  • +935
  • *Pressing the invisible like button*
  • Your profile pic makes everything u say sound sarcastic..
  • +920
  • I have to agree. Siri was the first on a mobile phone to try to be a digital assistant - able to take tasks like add an appointment to the calendar, etc.  Cortana is a copy in the way that the iPhone was a copy of Windows Mobile/Palm, or the way the iPod was a copy of Creative Labs player (or before that a Pocket PC with Media Player). Cotrana is no doubt a response to Siri and Google Now. MS is doing it their own way and IMO doing it better.
  • Preach it Pallentx, preach it! Preach on brother.
  • Siri is an updated version of TellMe Cortana is updated version of Siri. Also, TellMe first appeared on Windows Mobile 6.5, then later on Windows Phone.
  • Lippidp, pallentx, KMF79 are all wrong MS had shown personal assistant features a year before Siri was even announced. Which is why IMO Apple released it beta first. http://youtu.be/PR74_TT8lN8 So read first before commenting you might get a few surprises.
  • So, a marketing video about vaporware proves what exactly? Help me understand. Additionally, Siri was purchased by Apple in April 2010, 6 months before Windows Phone even launched. Apple gave their personal assistant a name. Microsoft never had a name for their voice control. It says "Powered by Tellme" or something in small print when you launch it. Now, Microsoft have given it a name, Cortana. Anyone who claims it is not a copycat feature just doesn't want to face the truth.   Of course the tech world, music biz, movies, TV, and books all copy each other. That's been going on forever.  
  • Let me tell u guys one thing a notification pannel and a digital assistant are two of the must have features on todays smartphones so if any os adapts those features it does not become a copycat feature like having a calling feature on diff mobile phones is not a copycat feature it is a must have that is what makes it a mobile phone ....so all it is abt which is better and we can clearly see here that cortana is far better than siri so.....yup ms and cortana wins this one
  • Apple DID NOT give Siri the name. Siri was a third party app for IOS that Apple purchased. I definitely know this to be true since I was one of the disgruntled when Apple blocked the app from working.
  • Copycat? Right.
  • FYI the word copycat is why everyone went off and being the first one to make it marketable doesn't actually mean you created the actual technology
  • Exactly, DARPA instantiated it. Apple got it from the government (DOD).
  • Psh
  • If you want to follow that path, almost everything nowadays is copycat of something. Since IBM released  Simon Personal Communicator - first touch-screen phone - Apple Newton, Palm, PocketPC, Symbian, Android, iOS, WP... copied and improved on that concept. Voice-controlling device is also an old concept - I don't know where it started, but there were apps to let you voice control PocketPC devices, namely Voice2Go among the others. Siri is using those basic principles with natural speech recognition, as developed (and licensed) by Nuance, who also happen to make and sell dictation software for Windows and OSX, called Dragon Naturally Speaking. Beside Nuance, Novaris (recently purchased by Apple) also develops natural speech recognition software - it is believed Apple purchased them because Nuance didn't want to go exclusive with Apple - while MS seems to be relying more on their in-house Bing development team, which develops Bing Information Platform, a knowledge database behind Cortana. However, BIP is not supposed to be closed system, but instead interlinks with other established services for weather, restaurants/hospitality, sports and other interests.
  • Dragon Naturally Speaking.... I remember that.... !!
  • No siri is apples version of Microsoft tell me...cortana is that updated
  • The iPhone had voice controls before Windows Phone even came out. It wasn't super useful, but then again, neither is TellMe. 
  • PocketPC had Voice Command when Apple didn't know if they'd even survive.
  • This is true. I actually paid $20 for it at CompUSA in 2003 I think. My point of Cortana being a copycat feature is that Microsoft could have made Cortana 10 years ago, but didn't. It was only when Siri was bought by Apple and integrated with the OS did Microsoft think about Cortana.
  • http://youtu.be/PR74_TT8lN8 I think Siri was rushed because MS had shown this at least 6 month earlier.
  • Damn straight. I remember using Voice Command on my iPaq in what, 2003?  "When is my next meeting?" (this would read off your next meeting title, location, and time), "Show me <friend name> at home" (this would bring up a map using that person's home address), stuff like that. Microsoft had this technology out there LONG before the iPhone or Siri even existed. Apple adds more functionality and releases something similar and suddenly they're sooooo innovative!
  • PocketPC came out in 2001. That was the year Apple upped their game and started stomping all over Microsoft with the iPod introduction. And if you really want to dig back in time for voice recognition, IBM had Shoebox in 1960s.  And to clarify.. I think Siri is mostly useless. I never use it on my iPhone. Cortana looks much more capable, and I love that you can use text entry on top of voice entry. 
  • TellMe first appeared on Windows Mobile, before the iPhone even came out.
  • Whoops TellMe came out in 2009.
  • but microsoft had voice controls on windows mobile before Siri or even voice controls was really a thing.
  • Siri, Apple's version of TellMe.
  • yeah I felt that way too when he said that.
  • I still remember using LG windows mobile. Everytime a new message arrived the phone asked me if I want to reply. And I use to say yes or no as the case may be.
  • Good artists copy, Great artists steal. Lol. IMO Cortana is better features than Siri.
  • Lmao, Cortana kicks Siri's ass
  • That was AWESOME to the 1020th power!!!
  • Bahahaha, that was pretty good.
  • WWWWoooohhhh.. Cortana has Taken Siri Badly.. :P
  • Good stuff haha!
  • Incredibly funny...I love Cortana. WP 8.1 bring it on!
  • This was amazing! They need to do a clean version of this for a commercial.
  • Definitely getting the update now!
  • I laughed my ass off over this! Cortana ain't taking shit from that ho, Siri!
  • Hey that's not fair... The Lakers are going through a rebuilding phase and we have half our team out on injury... I mean if we can not be last place in the west with brazemore and hill, young, and Kaman then I have to demand some credit for them
  • True. Out of players healthy enough to play, the Lakers have had the worst lineup in the NBA. It's amazing that they aren't in last place.
  • Lakers even want to take having the worst lineup in the league from the Sixers. We can't have anything!
  • I'm a Lakers fan but that still made me laugh. That draft pick though
  • LMAO
  • Hahaha lol men cortana rules
  • Hahaha, rofl
  • LMAO..They both fight really well. Good stuff. Thanks for sharing this. I'm sure MS and Apple must have had a hearty laugh seeing this.
  • Apple and MS are not two people.
  • Way to take it literally.
  • ^This
  • Hahaha cortana fucking siri
  • I hope though that people don't actually think she's that sassy.
  • Are you deaf, bitch? Bahaha
  • That was a gud one!! ROFL
  • Stop posting video.... I am just waiting for the news that wp8.1 is coming on that day,.. Please.... Make it quick
    ..
  • Exactly. Dafuk is wpcentral doing holding up the ok for Microsoft to release WP 8.1?
  • Right? WPCentral needs to stop fucking around and release the update.
  • Yaa release the update so that we can get excited for the next thing that is WP 8.2 new devices with cutting edge technology
  • WPCentral are soo mean and they do not want to release the update just because they are secretly working with Apple and Google. Right Daniel? right? I mean common! Microsoft is begging you to release the update and WPCentral are like "let's tease it first"
    tl;dr WPCentral controls Microsoft and Daniel is evil enough to cover the fact that they do
  • OMG that was funny !!!!! cortana just got fisty
  • Heh... fisty...
  • Hahahaha lmao!!
  • hahahahaha nice one.
    Cortana rules
  • Hilarious :P Cortana won :D
  • HAHA Amazing!!
     
  • Now I realize that google now does not a name like a personality. It would be great to have good now with "I only do search...lol."
  • How about bill gates star
    in a siri vs WP commercial. Results not typical in small letters at the bottom
  • This was just too great.
  • Haahahahahaha cortana she's the best
  • was it real , or the video showing Cortana and siri was just for fun.
  • Just for fun
  • Haha. That's pretty Hi-larious. Can't wait to get the update for my 1520.
  • Hilarious
  • That's so funny. Love it
  • Awesome!
  • When did Arsenio start doing infomercial's?
  • I didn't even realize he had a tv show since the 90's.
  • Exactly. I was searching comments to see if anyone else was wondering that too.
  • Who is he? Looks like some old bloke who takes the bins out at McDonalds.
  • Who is he? I would visit Wikipedia. Back in the 90s he provided a platform that helped launch some of the most successful music artists careers. He's a legend in many eyes. Now he's back from a long hiatus with this new show.
  • That was hilarious!!
  • WP is finally getting some solid exposure thanks to Cortana. We'll see if it does anything for sales.
  • And apps
  • Let's hope this exposure translates to higher market share for Windows Phone.
  • Cortana is gonna be that ryde or die side piece I always wanted!
  • I'm with you on that.
  • LOL @ R/D "side piece".
  • That was waaayyyy better then I expected.  Hilarious!   MS is getting major, major traction from Cortana
  • ltm, ltm
  • hahhahah this is awsm stuff, love her attitude....:)
  • Oh. Hell. Yes.
  • Man I'm glad Arsenio is back.
  • Amen to that.
  • This is how we do :D
  • Cortana wins that round by a landslide.
  • Microsoft give us WP8.1 so that we can prepare ourselves for wp8.2s excitement
  • Google now is not even in the conversation.
  • That's because it's just a search tool ETC but not a assistant.
  • Exactly my point. Cortana does both while google now is stuck in offering blue links. Accept that Cortana is better and will get even better.
  • It's a dumb assistant. By dumb I mean the one that doesn't talk.
  • Lmao!
  • Cortana WINS!
  • Hahaha...
  • Get that bitch on national television Cortana!! Make her beg for mercy! Lol!! Awesome!!
  • Yes microsoft has to use their tons of money kept with them in advertisement
  • So does everyone else.. You'd be foolish to believe otherwise.
  • Cortana ruled out Siri!!!
  • Haha, Cortana have some attitude! :D
  • Let's see if cortana can save wp from its inevitable doom
  • Ohhhh... Didn't knew my Cortana could be such a badass girl :p
  • OMG this is hilarious!
  • Hahahaha way to go Cortana!!!
  • Programmed by Nene Leakes hahaha. This whole thing was pretty funny. Nice to see WP getting more exposure even in satire.
  • Hilarious
  • That was awesome! I'm showing this video to my iPhone using girlfriend when she gets home.
  • Haha! That was amazing, so funny! And whatever helps to spread the news about Cortana, I'm perfectly happy with! 
  • LOL
  • LOL!
  • Where is Google Now ??
  • Try google.com.  jk
  • BAZINGA!!
  • http://youtu.be/ne6p6MfLBxc
    Wow cortana is awsm.. Don't know if any one falls in love with her as in movie trailer.
  • Wow, that creeped me out.  How did I miss that trailer?
  • I think u missed the movie too...
  • Hilarious! LoL xD
  • Hilarious LOL!
  • can't see straight, that was awesome
  • Good exposure for a product that is not even release yet. I am comfortable to say that Windows Phone is on par with both Android and IOs feature wise. With with universal app, we are going to get a new breath of apps and streamline experience.
  • Hahahaha this was awesome!! :D Too good :P:D
  • What kind of an article is this? How about actually reporting on the contents of the video and offering some insight into it, particularly for those of us who can't watch the video right now. An article that is nothing more but a hyperlink is not an article.
  • U simply have to watch the video ,, no one can explain it to you
  • It's a comedy bit, there's nothing to really report on other than the Arsenio show did a 'bitch fight' between Siri and Cortana like they were two real girls.
  • Cortana for the win!
  • Love it!!!!!
    "Cortana is a Ride or Die B!tch!!".
  • Initially funny but in true Arsenio fashion, it went overboard quickly.
  • cortana should have put out that halo pistol.
  • agreed
  • LOL, that's great.
  • Is this real? If yes then me and my brother who has an iPhone are gonna have some fun.. Atleast I would as Siri would be burned.. :D
  • It's not; it's totally scripted for Arsenio's demographic.  But it is hella funny!
  • haha very funny!!! :D
  • This is too insane to real, but I hope it is! Reminds me of Simsimi.
  • I love u cortana♡.♡
  • Fantastic...LOL!
  • That was certainly a LMMFAO bit.
  • +928
  • Microsoft has a serious edge when it comes to marketing here. By basing their assisstant after a popular character from the Halo universe, they are getting instant exposure and unlike any of the other assisstants, Cortana has a face and body that can be referenced to. I mean, what does Siri look like?
  • Like! :D Siri's just a mic.
  • Man I LOL'd for real though.
  • That was wild LMAO!
  • Very very funny!!! :D
  • Didn't Microsoft invent Cortana in-house and Apple bought siri???
  • Yes, and Siri uses Bing.     
  • Yes, and yes. Poor Apple, trying to be innovative! ;)
  • Much funnier than that crap they did last week.
  • LoooooL hahahaha :P
  • Are you deaf, bitch? Lol
  • One thing is certain, Cortana has picked up a lot of Hype, in a good sense. This is good for Windows Phone. People could start looking for "the phone that runs Cortana".
  • Definitly a positive attention !! Cant wait to get her on my 1020
  • It was pretty damn clever of MS to keep the name.  If they do this right it could easily be the most popular. 
  • I only wish they would've used the Cortana graphic from the Halo games, so you see her instead of a blue HAL-9000 spot.
  • Where can I find a good grilled cheese? In your damn kitchen?
  • He wanted a restaurant that did cheese on toast.. Is that what passes for cuisine in his neck of the woods?
  • That wasn't the point of it; he was trying to point out how voice recognition systems often "mis-hear" things said to them because they don't have the ability to put what they are hearing in the context of the sentence; in other words, a comprehension problem.
  • This had in me stitches lol, woke me straight up from my nap.
  • Loved it!
  • Completely caught off guard by how so many of you found this hilarious...
  • lol
  • That was hilarious!!   It was also great exposure for Cortana.  It showed her as competent, sassy, and with personality.   It had her as pocking fun at Siri's errors.   That might as well have been an ad for Windows Phone.   Thanks Arsenio!!!!
  • 1. The idea that Microsoft copied Apple is BS. Microsoft and others involved in the PC industry were dealing with and developing voice well before Apple. Apple was just the first to make a big deal of it on one of their Mac Lines 2. This is exactly what Microsoft needs more of. Get people talking about their products on the late night talk shows, SNL, Award Shows, and things like that. They should want people talking about their products and advertisements in main stream and entertainment media. 
  • Funny well done cortana
  • V Nic cortana
  • This was hilarious! Cortana is my new boo.
  • Funny but not showing features..
  • Funny
    video is funny enough that users here which never use cortana in their life calling siri killar
    Comment already making me laugh Posted via the WPC App for Android!
  • Hahaha I've it
  • Oh man! That's awesome! xD
  • So they've trivialised Cortana to the point of attributing black American stereotypes to it. Classy. And hardly hilarious.
  • Apple haters. Get a life. Always down talking Microsoft. Won't you go ahead and talk crap about android then. My goodness.
  • Always in favour of WP getting publicity, but funny? Only in America.
  • Whoever says Microsoft copied Apple should tell Apple to sue Microsoft in court and shut up.
  • Awesome
  • ROFL
  • Haha great...really cracked me up..hehehe
  • Lmaaooo.... Best video ever... Cortana can't wait to meet u
  • Hillarious!