Men — what's stopping you from looking like Windows95man?

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What you need to know

  • Windows95man is a character created by Finnish artist Teemu Keisteri, who wears a Windows95 t-shirt and very short cut-off denim shorts.
  • Windows95man just won the Finnish national selection show, UMK, with a song titled 'No Rules' and will be representing Finland in the Eurovision Song Contest 2024.
  • The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual competition where mostly European countries send in original songs to be performed live and voted on by the public, it's one of the longest-running and most popular TV shows in the world and known for its eccentric performances.

As I sit watching the video of the gyrating Windows95man bursting forth from an egg made out of denim jeans, in his underwear and a Windows95 shirt and cap, my first thought is "this isn't the weirdest thing I've seen at Eurovision." My second thought, however, is "wow if he actually wins, perhaps he can afford to upgrade to Windows 11."

Windows95man in his retro attire, is one of the many weird and wonderful entries into our beloved Eurovision Song Contest this year, and he will be representing Finland in the international song contest after being chosen by his country to go all the way. You can watch the epic performance of 'No Rules' below, with his denim-clad collaborator Henri Piispanen.

Windows95Man, real name Teemu Keisteri, has been a name on the Finnish DJ circuit for quite some time, has over 5000 followers on Facebook and videos of his DJ sets on YouTube. He doesn't just rely on his own pure sex appeal to perform either, he's sometimes joined by Clippy who since leaving Office 2007 seems to have found work accompanying the DJ and throwing shapes to EDM on tour around Europe. 

If you want to see Windows95man and Clippy busting their moves on tour in 2022 you can check out that video here on Youtube. We're happy for you Clippy.

Clippy wasn't on stage for the victorious performance of 'No Rules' but he was spotted in the audience, and hopefully will make an appearance at Eurovision 2024 when it takes place in May. Rest assured I'll be following their exploits as I'm a big fan of the contest, and in fact, Finland's previous entries have been some of the most bonkers. Windows95man is not the wildest act we have seen, considering we've had a dancing techno turkey submitted for Ireland who sang "Give us another chance, we're sorry for Riverdance." 

You too, can look as cool as Windows95man

I know what you're thinking. How can I look as good as Windows95man? How can I support this hero? Well it takes more than flashing some thigh in denim shorts so short they are basically hotpants. Like Windows95man you're going to need to pay homage to the late 1990's with some Windows95 merchandise. 

Windows 95 Shirts at Etsy OR Redbubble

Windows 95 Shirts at Etsy OR Redbubble

Microsoft may not be supporting Windows 95 anymore, but you can, and you can show your support for Windows95man with merchandise from tees to full denim caps.

Can Windows95man win Eurovision?

It's not outside the realms of possibility, Eurovision is full of eccentric and diverse performances and historically we've seen more serious acts like ABBA, Celine Dion and Maneskin win the contest but also the completely outlandish. Even Finland won in 2006 with Lordi's 'Hard Rock Hallelujah' which is a certified heavy metal banger performed by a band dressed like... demons. Finland's entry last year 'Cha Cha Cha' came second overall and turned into a viral hit with over 28 million views on Youtube, so Windows95man has some tough acts to follow but he's certainly in with a chance. I can't say I'm a fan of the song itself, but Windows95man could win on style points alone, and if he doesnt—perhaps he'd like to come work at Windows Central?

Jennifer Young

Jen is a News Writer for Windows Central, focused on all things gaming and Microsoft. Anything slaying monsters with magical weapons will get a thumbs up such as Dark Souls, Dragon Age, Diablo, and Monster Hunter. When not playing games, she'll be watching a horror or trash reality TV show, she hasn't decided which of those categories the Kardashians fit into. You can follow Jen on Twitter @Jenbox360 for more Diablo fangirling and general moaning about British weather. 

  • Ben Wilson
    A man after my own heart
  • RoguePine
    if his name was "DJ Nintendo64Man" I'm sure Nintendo would sue him!
  • HelloNNNewman
    Dude would have been spot on if he had dressed in all blue and just crashed on the stage.
  • naddy69
    "Men — what's stopping you from looking like Windows95man?"

    Dignity? Unwillingness to look like a total dweeb? I have an actual life?

    Lots of reasons come to mind.