I played Goat Simulator 3's new Baadlands DLC, and making a goat and pineapple pizza is not the worst crime you can commit

The Goat Simulator franchise has always run with the idea that nothing is too stupid to include in the game. If a joke pops into the developer's head or is suggested by the community, chances are it ends up in the game.

With Baadlands: Furry Road, the newest DLC for Goat Simulator 3 that drops today on Xbox, Coffee Stain North has taken that vibe and strapped it to a nitro-boosted bike, yeeting Pilgor into an open-world wasteland where the only rule is there are no rules, and also probably no food-grade safety regulations.

It’s an unapologetic mash-up of Mad Max and Fallout, if they featured rabid goats. After an hour of hands-on time with the developers, and a much longer few hours after that spent watching my five-year-old gleefully zoom around the desert — it’s clear that Baadlands leans even harder into the “what if we let you do this?” philosophy that Goat Simulator fans love. Even compared to the Multiverse of Nonsense DLC, this wasteland is bigger and stupider in all the best ways.

San Angora has gone full sand-pocalypse

The premise is simple: the world has ended and San Angora is now a scorching desert scattered with raiders, radiation zones, and an alarming variety of sentient produce. Pilgor, our loveable Goat protagonist, takes on the role of reluctant hero… though the term “hero” is somewhat generous when your best method of conflict resolution is still a well-timed headbutt.

Baadlands introduces a massive new (literal) sandbox with scrap to collect, a town to rebuild, and secrets buried beneath the dunes. It’s the franchise at its most ambitious, not because it’s trying to be serious (it absolutely is not), but because the team keeps thinking of more ways to let players break things.

A wasteland of horrors and fusion cookery

My first indication that this was going to be a creative expansion was our first quest in the Baadlands main town, where we found a pizza oven. Not just any pizza oven. This one lets you top your pizza with anything you feed into the system. “Can you make a goat pizza?” I asked half-jokingly.

The devs genuinely weren’t sure, but we were gonna try. Minutes later, after duplicating myself in a dubious and rusty cloning chamber, we discovered the answer: yes.

Yes, you can make a goat pizza. And your goat companions can react with the appropriate level of disgust and betrayal. Later, the developers took me on a road trip to a nearby village populated by abominable fruit and vegetable creatures (spiritual cousins of the infamous Abominana.)

Here, you can plant nearly anything: broccoli, irradiated tomatoes, even petrol cans if you wish. Naturally, I decided to grow pineapples so I could create the ultimate war crime: goat AND pineapple on a pizza. The game allowed it. With gusto. Or goats-to, if you prefer.

This is Goat Simulator at its best. A playground where the systems are flexible enough that the stupidest idea you can think of becomes a real, interactive outcome.

A harsher wasteland but with new toys to fight back

Compared to the base game, the wasteland NPCs are far more aggressive. Raiders and irradiated passersby don’t just stand around waiting to be headbutted into orbit; rather, they actually fight back. The result is a more dangerous, more reactive world, and it makes unlocking new Goat Gear feel genuinely exciting.

One of my favourite first discoveries was boots that create whirlpools of quicksand, letting you suck enemies into the ground. There are also radiation-warped areas where limbs sprout from places limbs should never sprout, reinforcing Baadlands’ slightly grotesque Fallout energy.

And then there’s your summonable motorcycle, a dusty steel steed you can pop into existence with a swift Goat whistle. Mechanically, it’s hilarious, watching a goat ride a bike will never not be funny, but the handling is, let’s say, an acquired taste. The good news is it’s upgradeable, and building out your wasteland camp gives you access to garages, gang hideouts, and more ways to tweak your ride.

You can ride a sandworm, because of course.

If the mental image of a goat wobbling on a motorcycle is somehow not ridiculous enough, Baadlands has you covered. At one point, I was able to mount a massive dune-dwelling sandworm and announce myself to the desert as the Lisan al-Goat-aib. It was stupid. It was the essence of Goat Simulator captured in a single silly moment.

The DLC is packed with weird secrets like this, new quests, new wasteland fashion, and more jokes than you could uncover in a single session.

Goat Simulator isn’t marketed at kids. But my son, who is 5, has logged over 220 hours across the franchise and absolutely adores it both solo and in co-op. It scratches the same sandbox silly itch as his other favorite games (Minecraft and Wobbly Life).

Thankfully, he's normally giggling too loudly to notice any of the more colorful language of the NPCs. Watching him play the preview build and squeal at the newfound goat-tech (the propeller jet back was another favorite) really made me excited to jump into the game again when it launches on Xbox today. We previewed the game on Steam, but it ran on the Xbox ROG Ally X really well (until he duplicated himself 50 times, though that's part of the fun.)

He doesn’t care about the lore or the parody inspirations. He cares that he can ride a worm and headbutt raiders off cliffs. And Baadlands gives him this and more.

Final thoughts

Baadlands: Furry Road doesn’t reinvent Goat Simulator 3, and neither should it. What it does is expand the sandbox in ways that double down on everything fans love: absurdity, flexibility, world-breaking silliness, and the freedom to try any idea just to see if the game will let you. And it usually will.

If you’ve been waiting for the series to go bigger and bolder, this is exactly that. And you’ll be living your best goat life in the wasteland for hours.

FAQs

What platforms is the Goat Simulator Baadlands DLC available on?

You can play Baadlands on: Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Steam, Epic Games Store, and Microsoft Store (Windows)

Can I explore the Baadlands right away?

Yes. Once the DLC is installed, you can head straight into the new wasteland region without needing to complete any prior missions.

Does the Goat Simulator Baadlands DLC support co-op?

Yes. Like the base game, Baadlands supports co-op shenanigans for up to 4 players.

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