I gotta be completely honest here: While this is an excellent Father's Day gift guide full of things that any dude would be thrilled to get, any day of the week, the simple fact is not a single one of these products requires actually having sired any children. Consider having offspring a bonus, in that case. Or a drain on your bank account. Your call.
In any event, here are seven things I'd love to get on Father's Day. Your Dad would, too. We promise.
KeySmart key organizer
Does your favorite Dad have a rat's nest of unlockers bulging from his pocket? KeySmart ($35) is a way-cool way to organize your keys. But that's not even the best part. Accessories like a bottle opener (!), USB drive (!!) and golf divot tool (!!!) make it even cooler.
Plus, KeySmart has a new version coming that'll integrate the Tile Bluetooth tracker, making it virtually impossible to ever lose your keys!
Look, I know people with Sonos devices won't shut up about it. But for that's good reason, right? It's that good, and it's that simple. Getting one for Dad means everyone gets to use it, right?
Start with a Play:1. ($199) It's ridiculously great for its size, and it rarely goes on sale. They're great on their own, but you'll be amazed at what a pair of these things can do to a room. Plus, you can snag two for a bit of a discount before Father's Day!
Philips Hue starter set
The thing about smart lights is you look at 'em and just can't find an excuse to shell out the money. They're just lights, right? Wrong!
And Father's Day is the perfect excuse to upgrade to these connected wonders. And a starter pack ($62) is a great way to get going. Careful, though: It's easy to get addicted. I'm getting close to switching out every single one of my lights, much to the chagrin of my wife. And once you get a feel for what you want, and where, you can give the colored lights a go!
And because Xbox has such good connected home control, it's a must-have for any living room.
Ring Pro Doorbell
I'm not going to stop talking about the Ring Pro ($199) until everyone who has a front door has one. It's that good. Ring Pro plugs into — and requires — existing low-voltage wiring, and from there you connect it to a Ring account and control things via a phone, tablet or computer.
Ring Pro means I don't have to worry about who's coming around, or whether my packages are still there, or when the kids get home. And right now you can get a good deal on it, and its battery-powered brother, too.
Added bonus: An honest-to-goodness Windows app.
This is one of those things I don't think I'd buy just any day out of the week. But now that I have one, I use it as much as possible. Because, coffee!!! Ember Mug ($150) takes your too-hot coffee and quickly lowers it to a more manageable temperature. And then it keeps it there thanks to a small battery and heater in the base.
This is definitely a luxury. But once you try it, you'll wonder how you ever drank coffee without it.
If you've got a Dad who's cut the cord but is still struggling to fill gaps in that TV content, this is what you need. First, get a good antenna. The 60-mile Clearstream 2MAX is serving me very well. Then you'll want to pair that up with HDHomerun Connect. ($99)
This little wonder has two tuners and takes that over-the-air (OTA) signal and spits it out to almost any device you can think of. Android. iOS. Windows. Linux. Xbox. Apple TV. Android TV ... the list goes on. (Everything except Roku.) So you can watch on your phone, or a tablet, or a TV. And if you pair it up with something like Plex, you can record shows or even watch your live, OTA channels while you're not at home. It's been a game-changer for me.
A REALLY GOOD waffle iron!
OK, this one isn't really techy. But it does beep.
If you love waffles and don't have a good waffle iron, you're really not living life. This one's nice and heavy and holds the heat well, and it's even gotten my kids to give up the frozen stuff on the weekends. Splurge a little at Amazon. ($99) It's worth it.
And, seriously: Real maple syrup. Don't short-change yourself with that cheap stuff. Your taste buds will thank you.
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Phil is the father of two beautiful girls and is the Dad behind Modern Dad. Before that he spent seven years at the helm of Android Central. Before that he spent a decade in a newsroom of a two-time Pulitzer Prize-finalist newspaper. Before that — well, we don't talk much about those days. Subscribe to the Modern Dad newsletter!