Much of the gaming I do in my downtime is now split between a ridiculously overpowered desktop PC, loaded with power-hungry components and unnecessary RGB, and the rest on my beloved Steam Deck. It's a sound system, and one that gets me away from the same desk I sit at all day to work, but it could be even better.
The problem is, handheld gaming PCs like Valve's iconic progenitor and Windows-based responses like the high-scoring ASUS ROG Ally and its Microsoft-centric offshoot, the equally appreciated Xbox Ally X, are just too damn big to be genuinely convenient. Sure, they're portable, and I've traveled around the world with both types, but they take up too much space in my carry-on luggage.
That faint rumbling sound is thousands of rolling eyeballs from gamers who don't appreciate my comparison between Valve's fully fledged PC and Sony's 333 MHz PSP Go from 2011, but hear me out — it's the pocketability that I miss. Yes, the singular hockey puck-esque thumbstick wasn't ideal, and the shoulder buttons were a spongey mess, but the sliding-screen mechanic was clever.
Hear me out — it's the pocketability that I miss.
We came close to seeing its form factor return in 2024 with AYANEO's Slide, but it only revealed a hidden QWERTY keyboard, like some mutated BlackBerry with tacked-on joypad controls. Still, if Mr. Mobile and CrackBerry Kevin can spearhead the Clicks Communicator on the back of that kind of nostalgia, why shouldn't I yearn for a spiritual PC sequel to the PSP Go?
After all, why not? What's preventing manufacturers from returning to this pocket-sized convenience category anyway? Well, even a light pondering of the topic reveals at least two answers: the ergonomics of built-in controls will be compromised, and smartphones are already capable of running modern games without issue — but I hate playing games on my phone.
The most straightforward answer to both is a detachable joypad, something like the Backbone Pro, but it isn't quite right for me. It's another thing to carry, and I want to avoid carrying a bag full of extra gadgets. Plus, I'm far too precious about my phone's battery to force it into playing AAA games. If only there were something closer to a PC— you can probably guess where I'm going with this.
The solution was Windows Phone
You know we used to be called Windows Phone Central, right? We're never letting it go, especially when I think about modern uses for a smartphone running Windows — or even Linux, for that matter. Naturally, I couldn't expect this fantastical phone-turned-handheld to use any standard PC parts like M.2 solid-state drives, but the software side could work.
I know how powerful smartphones are and that they can play AAA games, but Android isn't good enough.
In fact, people are already running x86-64 Windows PC games on Android via Winlator, so it isn't that far-fetched. However, possibility rarely goes hand in hand with viability, and there's just no reason for this strange in-between hardware to exist. I know how powerful smartphones are and that they can play AAA games, but Android isn't good enough. I want Windows in my pocket.
Big surprise, the Windows Central guy wants Windows. I can hear the "just buy a better phone" crowd, but that's not what I'm craving. I want some entry-level, budget-friendly, compact, and pocketable handhelds that won't threaten to replace any of the high-end category leaders — no dropshipped trash, either. I'm definitely in the minority, but I miss those cute and compact consoles.
Am I just a sad old man yelling at clouds? Did the Temu-flooded clones solve this already? Let me know.
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